No need to be arrogant, is there? I mean, no one likes a big head, do they?
Obviously, there is something to be said about being modest, and letting your achievements speak for themselves. Except, women tend to:
1- do this to a far greater degree than men -
"Unqualified and under prepared men don't think twice about leaning in. Overqualified and over prepared, too many women still hold back."
'The Science and Art of Self-Assurance-What Women Should Know', Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.
2- if anything, go too far in the opposite direction.
We dismiss and play down our achievements "Oh, it was nothing really". This seeps through into other areas of our lives, and we end up believing our own narrative.
In other words, it becomes so routine for women to downplay ourselves, that we lose our self-belief, our confidence, along the way. Because women aren't just modest - it's a short hop from there to 'entertainingly self-deprecating' and it's no distance at all from there to 'constant negative self-talk'.
Ladies, if we're going to go ahead and believe our own narrative, let's make sure we're creating one that's positive. It's time to stop underplaying our achievements (which are daily and many) and start to recognise them - not only to ourselves, but to the wider world.
Embracing and recognising everything we have achieved and can achieve can seem scary. In researching this blog post, I read an article that talked about a backlash against women for projecting self-confidence. I'm not linking to it, because I don't want to put you off!
My own experience is that when I project confidence I get a range of responses -
I'm labelled : bossy, scary, self-possessed, self-obsessed.
But, from women, I get feedback that I am inspirational, that they would love to have my confidence, that I am a role model.
(Let's take a brief pause whilst we recognise how hard it is for me to NOT continue with 'of course, I am none of those things'. Because, remember I said "When I project confidence", which is a different kettle of fish to feeling it).
I am all of those things.
And, I'll acknowledge that on behalf of all of the women I see, who are inspirational to me, who I wish I had the confidence of, who are my role models, and who would modestly say "but I'm nothing special".
I am someone special.
You are someone special.
I think it's vitally important for women to feel that about themselves, and start to talk about ourselves in a much more positive light. To stop being so modest, all the time.
It won't make us arrogant, it will make us right.
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