"Talk to Yourself Like You Would To Someone You Love"
This is one of my absolute favourite quotes, from the fabulous Brené Brown.
It's also really, really hard to do. Plus, we sometimes fall into a pattern of familiarity with people we love that means, well, we don't always let them know that we love them.
How about then, we at least try to talk to ourselves with respect?
When we respect our own opinions, our health, our bodies, we're showing that we believe in ourselves - and this is at the root of confidence.
When we don't have faith in our decisions, and waver, second guess, or start to lose track of ourselves, our confidence levels fall.
Body confidence is not separate from any other kind of confidence - build your confidence in one area and it will ripple through your life.
Build your body confidence, and you will gain more general confidence
Build your overall confidence, and you will gain more body confidence
Respecting your opinions doesn't mean you somehow think you're always right. Don't people who do think they're always right just annoy the hell out of you?
It just means that you place trust in your own decisions. If something doesn't work out, well, we're all on a constant learning curve, that's how we grow and change our minds over time.
Equally, respecting your body doesn't mean considering it to be 'perfect'. It simply means that you make decisions based on what you know to be good for your health, good for your body, good for you.
Establish a pattern of respect for yourself, and your confidence will grow
There are so many ways to do this, and it will vary for everyone.
If, for example, you start sentences with "I'm probably wrong...", catch yourself, stop yourself, remove the preamble and just say what you think.
If you never choose what film to see, or what restaurant to go to, because you are more concerned at pleasing other people than yourself, put your opinion forward. Yes, compromise is a wonderful thing, but not if you're always the one doing the compromising.
If you feel like you don't 'deserve' nice clothes, well-fitting lingerie, or to be able to wear a bikini - show yourself that you are absolutely as deserving as the next person.
Act right now how you think you would act if you had more confidence
Because that's all anyone else is doing.
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