Last week, someone commented on an ad I ran for our body confidence portrait sessions. I’d posted a selfie - no makeup (I don't own any!), and unfiltered. I needed an image to match the words of the ad, including:
"You can feel confident, in how you look, HOWEVER you look."
and
"Because freedom from needing to be beautiful is the most beautiful thing you’ll ever wear."

So I wanted an image that reflected those words - not polished perfection. 
I grabbed a very quick selfie and uploaded it along with the ad.

The response? A woman publicly commented: "ARE YOU A HE SHE??" and *"What is it???"

The natural instinct in situations like this is to feel wounded. Ashamed. Defensive. To start listing all the ways in which you are valid. Or to try to disappear entirely. Delete the image. And the comments. Try to pretend it never happened.

But here’s the strange part: I didn’t feel any of those things.

Not because I’m superhuman. Not because I don’t care what anyone thinks. But because I’ve spent years doing the work. The uncomfortable, necessary work, of detaching my self-worth from other people’s reactions.

And what I’ve learned is this:

Body confidence isn’t a feeling. It’s a skill.

It’s not about waking up and loving how you look every day. It’s not about becoming invincible to judgement. It’s about no longer outsourcing your value to the opinions of strangers on the internet.

It’s about knowing who you are before anyone tries to tell you what you’re not.

That kind of confidence is quiet. (Ironically, I had labelled the ad 'Quiet revolution'). It’s not performative. You don’t need to scream it to prove it exists. It’s just there - in the choices you make, the things you don’t respond to, the peace you don’t allow to be stolen.

And when you find it, you make space for others to find it too.

Because the more women show up exactly as we are - confidently, unapologetic - the more we dismantle the idea that anyone else gets to decide whether we’re “enough.”

If you want more of this kind of conversation, you might like my podcast: WomenVisible. Or just scroll back through a few days of our posts on Facebook and enjoy the chaos that was #Jenathon.

Because sometimes the best response to being called "it"... is to become absolutely unforgettable.

Much love,
Anna

ps - Freedom from needing to be beautiful is the most beautiful thing you’ll ever wear xx