20 years into running this studio, with the vast majority of those devoted to body confidence, and I have very few body hang ups left.
Few, but not none.
So they always take me by surprise when one pops into my brain, and there is one surefire time when they will - buying clothes for working out.
It took me over a year of going to yoga to buy anything specific to wear for it and when I did, I had visions that someone would accost me on the way to the yoga class and point out "those leggings are for a fit person, not you".
Obviously, that did not happen. No one accused me of cosplaying as someone who exercises. I love those leggings, they've lasted me for four years and counting (from Bam Clothing, in case you're interested).
Having recently started strength training (due to perimenopause making my joints creak more than a hinge in dire need of WD40) I needed...a second workout outfit option.
Since we were in London, it seemed an ideal opportunity to shop.
Gremlin Moment 1 - Actually going into a shop in the first place
There really is just something about fitness emporiums that scream at me 'this is not for you'. I simply do not feel toned enough to be in there (and I'm not trying to be, either.)
Gremlin Moment 2 - That isn't designed for your body
I spotted some leggings I really liked. Great fabric, nice styling with a stripe down the side and...on spesh (I mean have you seen the price of gym gear?).
So, I grabbed them to try on, and when I got them to the changing room I realised they had a design on the back to highlight your glutes. And I thought "Oh. These are not designed for me".
I nearly didn't try them on at all. Because who am I to highlight my startling lack of glutes?
Except, in that moment, I was telling a part of my body "you are not good enough".
WTAF?
There's no part of my body that isn't good enough.
I'm buying leggings, for working out. What's the worst that can happen. Am I going to be strong-armed onto a plane to Turkey, for a forced BBL by the glute police? Seems unlikely.
I tried them on, they fit well, I bought them. Gremlin subdued.
Gremlin Moment 3 - Am I really going to wear these?
The gremlin might have been subdued, but it wasn't silent.
Pros - these leggings are longer than my ones from Bam, so great for the colder weather that just set in
Cons - that gremlin was still talking to me - trying to tell me I looked ridiculous
End result - they looked great in the mirror (front on) and my glutes are absolutely as worthy as the next person's.
The leggings are mine, the glutes are fine, and the gremlin can sulk in the corner.
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