Does a lack of body confidence affect your sex life? | Smart Photography

Does a lack of body confidence affect your sex life?

For many women, the answer is yes.

There are lots of ways a lack of body confidence can affect your sex life, or even stop you from having a sex life at all.

One very common thing we come across, is a reluctance to undress in front of your partner.  Sex is a strictly lights off affair - running into the bedroom and diving under the covers, or getting out of nightwear whilst already in bed, and putting it to the side to be rescued later.

Please know, I am talking about the partners who tell you how much they love you, and love your body. If your partner is critical, puts you down or insults you, I personally do not think it's your body you need to change...

What about touching?

It's not at all unusual for women to have parts of their bodies they absolutely hate. Stomachs often get mentioned to us, and nothing as much as the 'pouch'. So loathed, that they don't want their partners to touch this part of their body they feel so ashamed of.

When you're mind is concentrating on 'where is that hand going to roam to' and not 'wow, this feels amazing', you are not letting go and enjoying the moment - and any tension you're feeling may well be transmitting straight to your partner, who won't necessarily know why it's there.  They'll probably learn your 'no-go areas' over time, but wouldn't it be a whole lot more relaxing to be comfortable enough with your partner to know that they accept the shape of your body for what it is? Do we prevent that by not being accepting ourselves?

Sex is an activity that engages many senses

So it stands to reason that when we start to restrict sight and restrain touch, we're, for a start, not feeling relaxed, but also if great sex is about involving all of our senses, what are we cutting ourselves off from by not allowing the sight of our partners, and their's of us, to play a part?
By not allowing their hands to roam our bodies, and to feel someone embrace, with love, something we struggle to do so for ourselves?

Not to mention the fear of meeting someone new

It's one thing to have a long term or regular partner, but the thought of getting back into the dating scene, all of the swiping, then meeting, then oh dear God, the revealing yourself to someone is way too much for some women, so  they'll avoid even looking for a partner for fear of what this person, who they don't even know yet, may think.

Maybe other people aren't all that shallow?

When women bring their partners along to view their photos, we are often trying to show our clients what their partners already see - it's not the other way round. It is not your job to have a perfect body, there's no such thing. Do you reject your partner for natural changes that occur in their body over time? For most people, the answer is no. Have a little faith that other people aren't quite that shallow either (and if they are, are they someone you want to be with anyway?).

If you'd like a chat about building up your body confidence, fill in the form below, and I'll be in touch.

Much love,


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