I'm not photogenic should mean "I don't naturally look fabulous in all photos". This would then apply to...almost everyone. But it's become shorthand for "I don't believe I can look good in any photo". And this is a belief that will have women dodging cameras, well, forever.
The birth of the 'I'm not photogenic' myth
Back in the days of film cameras, photos used to be precious. You didn’t waste film randomly taking 20 photos of the same thing (or your dinner!).
There was an inherent pressure, when having your photo taken, to try your hardest and look your best. Because there weren’t going to be several to choose from to pick a winner. There was going to be one. And if you didn't like how you looked in it, tough luck, it was going in the family album anyway.
Many of us grew up haunted by the ghosts of photos past. They didn’t get buried in a glut of other photos, briefly seen and then lost amongst the next day’s, and the next. They were on display, kept, even treasured. And you definitely couldn’t delete and move on.
And there it would be, flashing straight into your mind the next time you were having your photo taken - a terrible previous image. Creating a small but powerful panic, of ‘but what if I look the same again?’. The very idea creates the reality that you were trying to avoid.
You didn’t really need to wait for that little wallet to come back from Truprint to know, in your heart, that you weren’t going to like that image of yourself. But the printed reality, the sheer permanence of it, hurt nonetheless.
And THIS is how myths are born.
“I’m not photogenic”
“I don’t know what to do in photos”
“I hate being in front of the camera”.
The unnecessary pressure
At the root of it all is that initial pressure, signalling to us that this photo is important. We must not ruin it.
And as soon as that thought enters our mind, even for a millisecond, well, that’s when it’s game over.
It goes like this:
“Right, I MUST look natural”.
An idea almost certainly followed by looking the most unnatural you have ever looked:
- lots of blinking
- forgetting what arms do
- ‘rabbit caught in the headlights’ stare
Disastrous photo. Again.
And somehow the fact that, these days, a photo can just be…taken again, doesn’t seem to help.
The good news – the camera doesn’t hate you.
The bad news – you hate the pressure of being photographed and that basically gives the same result.
The fix – just relax in front of the camera!
(I’m kidding, of course. If you could relax in front of the camera, we wouldn’t be here, would we?).
Breaking the pattern
The real fix is to do with breaking the pattern of how important you think photos are.
Is it nice to have a great photo of yourself? Yes, of course it is.
Does that mean each photo needs to be ‘The One’? No.
The difference between you and the ‘always radiant on Insta’ people isn’t just the sheer volume of AI filters in use. The real difference is the willingness to fail, and try again. The understanding that a terrible photo doesn’t matter. The next one can be better. Or the next one. Or the next one.
Our natural reaction is to avoid being in photos.
The utterly boring and counter-intuitive real fix is to be in more of them. And drop the idea that they carry any importance.
It’s not ‘confidence in front of the camera’ you need. It’s mere indifference.
And 'indifference' is something you can achieve for yourself, on your own, at home.
If having your photo taken feels like an event – that’s when you’re going to be at your least relaxed. Once it feels like just another photo - a completely routine, uninteresting part of your day, that you don’t even need to look at in the future - then it carries less weight.
Here's something quietly useful you can try
Take your phone
Take a handful of photos of yourself
No fixing, no checking, no caring
Delete them
That’s the point
The deletion is crucial. That’s what breaks the pattern.
Why this works (and why it’s not as daft as it appears)
- You’re training your nervous system, not your ego
- You’re decoupling “camera” from “judgement”
- You’re practising non-attachment, not self-love
- It mirrors exactly what “photogenic” people already do, without saying so
In this simple way, you can break the pattern of feeling like photos are important, and shift towards indifference.
(Incidentally, if you've ever wondered why super-models always look bored, it's this - not loving the camera, not feeling confident - it's simply not caring. And it's well within your reach.)
Much love,
Anna
xx
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