Elise, Author at Smart Photography - Page 27 of 30

All Posts by Elise

How To Make The Perfect YouTube Video (Parody)

Ever wondered what you need to make the perfect YouTube video?
Me too, so I did some research and learned these top tips to share with you.

Hi, so I've been looking into what we can do to get more video views since we're making more videos at the moment.

For starters the ideal thing is to be young and cool, but since the boat's already sailed on that one, I've looked in what else we can do.

The big thing is to make sure that you have some quick edits, be a bit jumpy, because apparently people have an attention span of around about a nano-second and this will JOLT them into attention.  Plus, adding a little beep every time you cut the scene - you don't want them to get bored of watching you. 

Apparently using different locations, especially outdoors is a good idea and if you can give people a bit of an insight into your awesome life then that's good too.  Add in some product placements so that brands know that we're willing to work with them.

The thing is, I'm 44 years old. I don't think I can be bothered with this crap.

I just want to talk to women about feeling good about themselves. I'm just going to leave all the cool stuff to somebody else.

How Body Confidence Affects Your Sex Life

Today I'm talking about how body confidence can affect your sex life.

Right, this week, lets talk about sex,  or specifically body confidence and sex. How we feel about our bodies can have a really serious
impact on our sex lives and it isn't like there isn't an absolute tonne of other stuff having an effect as well.  So really, for a lot of women, our sexual relationships do not need yet another thing to ruin them.

Every week I meet women who won't undress in front of their partners, their partners have never seen them in underwear, never seen them naked or if they have it's in the past, it's a dim and distant memory from long ago.  And it's really easy to kid yourself that that isn't an issue - lights off, clothes off, what's the problem? And it might not be a problem, it could be completely fine and if it's not a problem and every thing's working well, that's great. But since I have absolutely loads of conversations with women about this, it's clear to me that for some women it genuinely is a big issue.

If you had a partner who says horrible things to you about your body, and I know that this is scarily common, somebody who puts you down, who makes you feel that there's something wrong with you. Then I don't personally think that it's you that needs to change because it's the other person who needs to sort themselves out.  There's nothing that I can do to resolve that because it's them who needs a stern talking to. You are the one who's awesome and amazing and they are the ones with the problem.

If on the other hand you have a supportive partner who loves you, who compliments you, who makes you feel great then what we do a lot of the time, we put a lot of our body insecurities onto them, because we assume that because we don't like our bodies they can't possibly like them either and effectively we don't trust them enough to share who we are. But we're about to have sex with them and part of good sex is giving ourselves over to someone else, it's a release, we let go.

How much can we honestly let go if we're thinking "is it definitely dark enough in here that you can't possible see my C-section scar"?

So getting ourselves to the point where we will do someone else the honour of letting them see us naked and letting them enjoy and revel in our bodies is a massive favour to us and to our relationships.

So lets assume that our partners aren't as shallow as a puddle and assume that we don't need a perfect body because they probably haven't got a perfect body either. The perfect body doesn't really exist. In fact they're probably going to be perfectly happy with our body and just actually quite excited that we will let them see it. Because bodies are squishy and saggy and they have marks on them but they are unique to us and that's something that we should be sharing with our partners because it's true it's natural.

Now that might feel like that is a big exercise in trust but actually we should trust our partners in a big way so it's completely fine to let go to that degree and to share who we are with somebody else.

One Big Myth About Confidence

Today I'm talking about one big myth about having confidence.

So today I want to talk about one of the big myths about confidence, and that is that confidence is either something that you have, or don't have, and if you don't have it, well, that's that.

It's like learning to drive

Confidence is not something that, if you don't feel like you have it, you never can. It's a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned. Now, you already have loads of skills – although a lot of them you don't really think of as skills, you just take them for granted as 'the things you can do'.  But if you've learned to drive a car – you can learn to have more confidence If you've learned to cook a meal, you can learn to have more confidence. If you've ever passed an exam, learned a language, or managed to navigate your way from A to B - you're using skills that you've learned either through conscious effort, or organically, from watching other people.

I did not, aged 17, suddenly know how to drive. I had to to decide it was a skill I wanted to learn. And then I had to practice and learn. I just want you to understand that having or not having confidence is much more of a choice than we think it is.

If your self confidence is low, then you don't have to accept that as a fact – you can make a choice to build it up and improve your confidence. If you want some help getting started – if you're thinking, "well, that's a lovely theory but it's not very useful" - throughout February I'm going to be putting together some videos that are focused on exactly HOW to start building your confidence, with practical steps that are easy to take – just small changes and challenges – that will help you start to develop the skill of confidence. So if you want to make the choice to be more confident, then look out for them.

Much love,