You’ve got to be feeling confident…

to come along for a boudoir portrait session, right?
Well, I'm not so sure.

Have you ever watched a film and got so confused over who's who in it, that you found it hard to follow? When I watched 'The Departed', with Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio together, I couldn't follow it. Because to me they look exactly the same.

I have a form of facial blindness that makes recognising people's faces really difficult. Mostly I get along by differentiating people by other differences - hair, clothes etc, and mostly I get by with that.

Facebook is massively helpful - if I'm meeting a friend who I haven't seen for a long time, I can fix them in my mind, because I can look at their photo. Otherwise, I run the risk of walking straight past them.

Obviously, I am in the perfect job for someone with this issue!

If you've ever lost your other half in Ikea, you kind of want them to be easy to spot - and since I fear not being able to recognise Robin, unless I've remembered what he's wearing*, it makes perfect sense to me to make myself recognisable.

(*I should explain this is a fear, not something that happens, because I'm pretty good at recognising people I see all the time, but if I had to recall their features to tell someone else, I couldn't do it. I'm a police sketch artist's worst nightmare).

So when it comes to my own personal style, I have a tendency to go against the grain. And this leads to an assumption from people that I must be quite confident, and possibly a bit attention seeking. What wallflower would have blue hair, after all?

But what if the choices I make are based on something else? What if I'm thinking "If I look different, I will be able to recognise myself in a photo"?
Because I can look back at old photos and not necessarily be able to tell my own face.
And since I don't understand how other people recognise each other, making myself stand out is a way I know I can be identifiable.

So my choices aren't based on confidence initially. However, when you do something that's maybe outside of your comfort zone (in my case, draw attention to yourself in some way) then :

1. You appear to have more confidence than you feel.

2. Your comfort zone starts to shift - meaning you start to actually have more confidence than you used to.

It's all pretty circular!

Is everyone who comes along for a boudoir portrait session brimming with confidence? Is that why they come?

No, of course not. They're pushing past their comfort zone and taking a risk. They're not massively more confident than you or anyone else before they come. They just have that tiny bit more confidence that gives them the courage to get in touch.

Much love,
Anna
xx

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